For the sake of tradition

As usual, the comments make the post:

Queen makes Prince William Knight of the Thistle: The Duke of Cambridge has been given the highest honour in Scotland after being installed as a Knight of the Thistle at a service in Edinburgh.

I suppose in my naivety I don’t understand the average Brit republican’s disdain for pomp and ceremony such as this. Or maybe they are just jealous? It’s the continuation of tradition that gives stability and continuity to a society.

It’s why as an American I’m proud we still celebrate our Independence all these years later. When you forget your traditions, you lose sight of where you came from.

Events and Entertainment for Day Two of the Chap Olympiad

Events and Entertainment for Day Two of the Chap Olympiad:
Sunday 8th July 2012 is Day two of the Eighth Chap Olympiad and will feature a selection of events which have proved favourites with Olympians and spectators alike over the last eight years. There will also be an interval slot by renowned banjolele-wielder and rhyme-popper Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer. Here is the full list of events

Cucumber Sandwich Discus: Individuals must hurl a cucumber sandwich on a china plate, with this year’s added handicap of a side order of potato crisps

Ironing Board Surfing: Contestants mount their ironing boards and are carried over the finishing line by their butlers and housekeepers

Hop, Skip and G&T: Athletes must complete all three disciplines, with the emphasis on maintaining a full tumbler of gin and tonic by the end

Umbrella Jousting: In the medieval tradition, chaps on bicycles approach each other along a boundary and use their brollies to knock each other off, protected by Bowler hats and reinforced copies of the Daily Telegraph

INTERVAL: A live concert by Chap-hop superstar Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer, who, among other notable ditties, will be showcasing his brand new tune, “Light the Olympic Pipe”

Three-Trousered Limbo: Pairs of contestants are strapped into huge pairs of double trousers, with three legs, and must stumble under a steadily-lowered limbo pole

Tug of Hair: Teams of ten tug at the tips of an enormous handlebar moustache, with the added handicap of slippery moustache wax

Bounders: A chap must say something so caddish to a lady that he receives a slap. The bounder with the reddest face, but the wryest smile, is the winner

Synchronised Slippages: In the Grand Olympic Paddling Pool, contestants must make an elegant display of tumbling, slipping and getting rather wet, as they attempt futilely to remain upright during their final few drinks of an exhausting two days of Olympian efforts

Tickets are available from www.thechapolympiad.com or by telephoning 020 7724 1617

Chap Olympiad Only 3 1/2 Weeks Away

The Chap Olympic Committee has completed its exhaustive inspection of Bedford Square Gardens and submitted its final instructions for structural amendments, including the removal of safety barriers from the Olympic Track, the installation of 1000 ashtrays and the removal of the rainforest which sprouted last year.

This year’s 8th Chap Olympiad runs over two days, Saturday 7th and Sunday 8th July. Saturday’s events will run as follows:

1.00 The Pipeathlon: six contestants must complete a 10-yard course using three disciplines – pipe smoking, cycling and being carried by their servants across the finishing line.

1.20 Gentlemen’s Golf Club: contestants must hit a bowler hat into a large fishing net using a walking stick.

1.40 Swooning: one for the ladies. Chaps have to induce the ladies to swoon through any means possible.

2.00 Butler Baiting: teams of two (master and butler) must assemble a wardrobe impressive enough to satisfy the butler, by running back and forth between their master and a suitcase full of clothing.

2.30 Not Playing Tennis: contestants seated in armchairs play a game of tennis without getting up. The tennis ball is suspended on a wire hung between two hat stands.

3.00-4.00 During the interval, you will be entertained and educated in the arts of Omnicombat – a variation on the 19th century martial art of Bartitsu, or gentlemanly self defence with walking canes and umbrellas. This demonstration will be made by Albion and his son Merlin, both adepts. Albion has assured us that “We have no insurance cover, but it is very unlikely that anyone will suffer serious injury or death.”

4.00 Ironing Board Surfing. Contestants mount their ironing boards and are carried over the finishing line by their butlers and housekeepers.

4.20 Moustache Wrestling: two contestants must pluck a single hair from their opponent’s lip weasel.

4.40 Briefcase Phalanx: a line of ten chaps and chapettes, dressed for the office and clutching briefcases and handbags, creates a phalanx. Lone contestants must charge at them and try to break through to the secretary on the other side, who is ready to type a letter.

5.20 Shouting at Foreigners: contestants must pit their gentlemanly skills against a curmudgeonly, uncooperative foreign shop assistant.

5.40 Umbrella Jousting: two contestants, armed only with brollies and briefcases, must go at one another on bicycles and attempt to knock each other off.

Sunday’s running order will be posted shortly. Tickets are available for each of the two days individually, or at at a reduced price for both days. Tickets are available from www.thechapolympiad.com/ or by telephoning 020 7724 1617

Chaps to Stage Radical Protest on Savile Row

More important news from The Chap:

Chaps to Stage Radical Protest on Savile Row: In a return to the heady days of Civilise the City and the notorious Tate Modern art protest, the Chap is to take to the streets once again and stand up for what we believe in. On Monday, 23rd April 2012 (St George’s Day) several hundred immaculately dressed Chaps and Chapettes will gather outside number […]

I stand in solidarity from afar.