Militarized Mer-men


Maybe they can get the Fobbit Medal as well:

Ukrainian Attack Dolphins Are On the Loose: Hugh Pickens writes “The Ukrainian Navy has a small problem on their hands. The Atlantic reports that, after rebooting the Soviet Union’s marine mammal program last year with the goal of teaching dolphins to find underwater mines and kill enemy divers, three of the Ukrainian military’s new recruits have gone AWOL. Apparently they swam away from their trainers ostensibly in search of a ‘mate”‘ out in open waters. It might not be such a big deal except that these dolphins have been trained to ‘attack enemy combat swimmers using special knives or pistols fixed to their heads.’ Dolphins were trained at Sevastopol for the Soviet Navy as far back as 1973 to find military equipment such as sea mines on the seabed as well as attacking divers and even carrying explosives on their heads to plant on enemy ships. The U.S. has its own dolphin program in San Diego with 40 trained dolphins and sea lions and another 50 in training. U.S. Navy dolphins were deployed in Bahrain in 1987 during a period when Iran was laying down mines in the Persian Gulf to disrupt oil shipments. No word yet on whether ‘sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached’ have been added to the U.S. arsenal.”
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